Personally, I have suffered from chronic panic attacks with symptoms including: trembling, convulsions, loss of sight and sound, dizziness, confusion, numbness and tingling all over, loss of motor abilities and complete paralysis, inability to breathe, a speedy heart rate, tightness in the chest, hallucinations, a closed throat, and worst of all: feelings of losing control, complete delusion, panic, desperation for help, and fear of death. These attacks are far different from anxiety; they are a torturous hell consumed of loneliness, confusion, depression, apathy, fear, self-loathe, helplessness, etc. I have spent countless times in terror making visits and calls to 911, therapists, doctors, nutritionists, panic attack hotlines, friends, family members to cope with these horrible experiences, which all made little long-term progress FOR me - I know deep within, that only I can choose peace, and my mission has been to learn HOW to stay balanced and in control.
My life, at one point, became an obsessive mission to figure out the triggers of these attacks / why my body is feeling so disconnected from my mind, and is overall fluctuating from such a high frequency to such a low one, with overwhelming fear, discomfort, disconnection, etc. I recall becoming dizzy, losing my senses, frantically questioning myself, questioning "is this reality?", "am I going to die?", "why can’t I breathe, feel, hear, etc.?", and ultimately losing trust and faith in myself... all terrifying things. I still endure these panics, which are the opposite of my purest state, so I try to gently befriend them as best as I can - after all, they are a part of me and my life, and they are a massive part of my spiritual awakening conglomerate.
My life has mostly become an indulgence of simple pleasures to enjoy while picking myself back up, such as hiking, walking, joining communities, making meaningful friendships, cooking, reading, meditating, a vegan diet, sobriety, etc. all in hopes of ultimately healing myself back to heavenly peace through self-nurture and self-love, and liberating myself from the captivity of this cycle of panic attacks, which is all for the better anyway.
I am forever grateful to have such honorable friends, family, my puppy, and even many, many strangers that I have vulnerably turned to that have helped me cope throughout the non-relatable hardship of these anxieties and have served me with their prayers, love, comfort, and reassurance that I am not done here ...even though during panic attacks it feels death is approaching at any second.
When not in a state of panic, I feel in control, full of life, intuitive, unconditionally loving, self-reliant, joyful, enlightened, grateful, compassionate, creative, caring, and FREE. But whatever goes up, must come down. :) Pain is just a part of the journey that makes you evolve and grow wiser and stronger!
And so, it is.
If you experience panic attacks, I can relate. As a beloved friend, I encourage you to continue to grow and have faith that there is hoped to live in peace, while you are here enjoying the beautiful gift of life.
Remember: we are all doing our best, but all we oversee is breathing and being.
As I always say, Heaven is a shift of consciousness away - back to balance, blissfulness, love, and peace.
Love, Light, and many blessings! AMEN
Love, Emiliana#Healing #Trauma